My Own World
by JanxAngel
Summary: A dark fantasy I came up with when I watched the preview for Untethered. It's in no way intended to be something that could actually happen. Rated T for some cussing here and there.
1. Can't sit still

Please read & review. It's better than double chocolate malts!

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So as I was browsing the forums, I came across the info for the episode next week. The thread was already up to 11 pages when I started reading through it. It had been up for a couple of weeks. Well, then I found out what was going to be happening. My poor Bobby! What were they doing to him? As if he didn't already make me want to hug him and make him feel better, they have to go do something like this… sigh And someone put up pictures too… Oh dear oh dear. Well I just don't know how I'm going to make it till next week. The wait is usually bad enough, but this is awfulness. I figured I'd just listen to some music and have a lie-down and hopefully feel better in a bit.

After a few minutes though, I knew that wasn't going to work. Not at all. Blame it on Dragonforce, blame it on too much anime, blame it on me being just that crazy, but I couldn't let it go. So I got up and went to the mirror. I gazed into it, and asked for Zillah to come and talk to me. I heard her stretch and yawn, like a big cat, and ten times more deadly. "What do you want?"

"I need your help."

"You need lots of help, the kind I'm not good at."

"Come on, please?"

"What do you need this time?"

I sketched out the situation to her, to which she replied, "I know I live in your head and all, but you have seriously LOST it this time. It's fictional, you know that right?"

"Well… technically… but… Well I mean you of all people know how what we think is so solid really isn't."

She sighed heavily. "Damn it. You're messing with stuff you shouldn't you know. Turning reality inside out isn't something you do just because you're all hot and bothered over someone who's not real. This is yet another reason why I am so happy to have no sex drive."

"Keep up with that & I'll give you one."

"You can try but you and I both know it'll never stick. You're the borderline nympho. So how do you expect me to accomplish this mission? There is the whole issue of me not having my very own physical body."

"You can use mine."

"Yeah right, like you'd ever let me do that."

"Yes I will." I looked hard into the mirror, looking past my own eyes and into hers, lurking in the back. "I freely give you use of my body until this task is accomplished. After such time it will be returned to my control. Are we agreed?"

"If that means no interference from you until the job is done, we are."

"Then it is a deal." I felt my awareness slip backwards like falling into a trance almost. I could still see and hear clearly, and I could speak to Zillah if I needed to, but conscious control of my body was gone. And as a side benefit, so were many of the concerns that go with it. I was just along for the ride.

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Hey thanks for reading the first chapter. I hope you stick with the rest of the story. It's probably a good bit different from the kind of stuff you'd think of when you think LOCI, but if you're into fantasy stories or just plain weirdness, I think you'll like it. Please review for me! Thank you.


	2. New York, shopping

Translations are in parenthesis.

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Zillah flashed her razorblade smile into the mirror and looked herself over. "Yeah this will do OK. Guess it's time to work."

She walked out of the room, glancing out the windows at the warm sunny day and the gently swaying palms as she crossed the living room and made her way down the stairs to the front door. "I'm going out for a while guys! See you later," she called to my roommates. She went out, locking the door behind her, and turned to hail a cab on the chilly, busy New York street.

'Well I guess I'd better try and get a fix on the exact location of this place. Can't storm a castle if you don't know where it is. Then I'll need to figure out what kind of help I'm gonna need & where to find it. This being New York should make it easier to locate freelancers. It'll be tougher getting equipment since I don't really have contacts here though,' she thought as one finally took notice and pulled to the curb.

'First things first though.' She opened the door and said "Closest computer shop please," as she settled into the back seat. "A real one too, not someone scamming n00bs who don't know any better."

"Oh I got just the place for you then," replied the cabbie.

"Yeah I'll just bet. If your boys are good there might be a good tip in it for you. Referral fee you know? I don't like being jerked around, but I reward good work. Savvy?" She tipped her sunglasses down just a bit as she said this, making sure he caught a glimpse of her eyes in his mirror. The man did a double-take but she had already pushed them back up on her nose. "Y-y-yes ma'am… They're a real shop. I s-s-swear."

They pulled up outside a small shop with dark windows and a single small sign that said Negative Zero Custom Computers and Repairs a couple minutes later. "This looks about right. Cocky enough name, discrete enough appearance. You only know what you're looking at if you know your stuff." Turning to the cabbie she said, "Good work. " He relaxed slightly. "What's your name?" He stiffened again, "M-Marlo."

"Well Marlo, how'd you like to work for me some more today? I pay good and I'm generally easy to get on with. I could really use someone who knows the ins and outs of the city. What do you say?"

I could tell he didn't want to be around Zillah anymore than he had to, but at the same time the idea of getting sure money for the day battled for dominance in his mind. I could see him trying to reason his way out from under his fear and perhaps see how it could be to his benefit, to be the driver of this strange, disquieting woman for the day. Trying to reason with Fate is a losing battle. "Ok. Sure."

Zillah passed him a fifty. "Good. Wait here. No matter what happens, you be here when I come out." She grinned at him quickly. He gulped and looked at the money, then nodded to her as she walked into the shop.

The place was small. A few display boxes set up on a table to the left to show off their work, various parts on the shelves and right hand wall. The display case held processors, small components, and select portable devices. A curtain divided the workshop in back from the retail space in front. The acrid scent of solder hung in the air. "j0! n 3 f00s w3rkn h3r3? (Yo! Anyone workin' here?)"

"w47 j00 w4n7 n00b? (What can I help you with?)"

"i n33d l33t g34r5 f3r j0b i'm w3rkn. -i 73nsi0n 7yp3. -rdc0r3. (I need some items for an important job.)"

"Well you talk the talk, so I'm guessing you're not going to be attending board meetings and doing drinks with VPs. What's your angle?"

"My angle is my damn business, but what I need is something small, robust, rugged, functional across multiple platforms, and with the longest battery life possible. And I need it yesterday. What have you got for me?"

The young man with the shock of bleach blonde hair looked her up and down with a careful eye, then proceeded to show her a number of different items that were almost right, but not quite. After the 10th one Zillah sighed deeply. "No, this isn't right. I don't want this pro-sumer crap. Where do you hide all the real cyberpunk Chromebook stuff? I'm not worried about the money if that's why you're holding out on me."

He looked at her again, this time more closely, clearly impressed by her reference. "Ah, well, you know if you'd just let me know what you're into, I might have something that fits the bill. A little piece as it were."

"Damn kids," she muttered. "This has nothing to do with cashing in. I may be a lot of things, but I am NOT a damn thief! No this is about a rescue, so you can forget all about a big payday, ok? And if you really know what's good for you, you'll quit fucking around with me before I get really pissed and make sure a city inspector with some new equipment comes around here and Ooops! We didn't know it gave off EMPs! Now hop to it kid!"

Fifteen minutes later she walked out with a small shopping bag full of techie dreams come true. The kid was most helpful in putting it all together, once he got started, and especially when Zillah dropped the money on his workbench. Cash always seemed to help people feel more enthusiastic about her projects.

"Ok Marlo, time to get some information and coffee. Anyplace that serves good stuff and has wireless please," she said as she got into the cab.

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Technical note: EMP – Electromagnetic Pulse. Erases hard drives and wrecks electronics of every kind.


	3. Bobby, Visitors, Memory

The capitalization in this chapter is on purpose and has a definite reason, but I won't tell what it is until the end. See if you can figure it out.

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Bobby isn't here. He isn't there. Right now he isn't anywhere at all.

"am i awake? i can't tell. where is this?"

so many thoughts drifted through his mind. disjointed and unfocused. this was supposed to be a straight undercover job. he was playing the doctors the way he had played so many suspects before.

"what's happened to me? what went wrong?"

It was true. The prison was awash in abuse. Was it murder? It easily could have been. He wasn't totally sure now. Right now he couldn't be sure he was still himself, much less anything else. They had hurt him, they had given him all sorts of drugs, and still he had managed to hang on. to a thread of the real world. but it was so far now. where'd it go? different and distant. a lost memory? a lost. something.

now it was just him, lying on a table in belts and chains, wondering about everything and nothing and only wanting to find the way out. out of here, out of the maze of his mind, back into something resembling the life he once knew. but first was needed someone to help him, to save him, from the burning white room and the hard table. the one that in the back of his mind reminded him of the ones in Rodgers' morgue. a tiny part of him wondered if that would be better than being where he was. but it was soon lost in the cacophony of the other thoughts swirling through his tortured mind.

"please. help. me. why ? i am. alone?"

"But you're not. I am here with you now."

"who? help?"

"No. I can't you see. Sorry. It's just how it is."

"so many lights & they're all so loud. the sound is so bright. am I breathing still?"

"Yes."

"awake?"

he forced himself to turn his head to look for the voice in the room. he saw a woman, dark and distant, standing to one side. there was an instant of relief that there was someone there to make the voice, but at the same time a doubt that she was real. her features were vague, like looking through mist or water, but somehow he could see her eyes. Radiant Blue. they burned even in the harsh light of the room.

"That I can't tell you. You have to decide for yourself. Even I don't know."

"cold, can't sleep, can't wake. is this hell?"

"No, for this to be even the possibility of Hell, you'd have to be dead. I can tell you that you are still alive. No, for you there is no Heaven and there is no Hell. There is no God or Demon here. There is no one but me and no time but now. And _that_ is eternal."

"why? why here?"

"If you're asking why this happened, then I think you already know the answer to that. If you're asking why you are here, you already know that too. If you're asking why you're talking to me, then you're asking the wrong question." She paused and tilted her head to the side, "and if you're asking 'Why me?' then perhaps you are exactly where you need to be."

why was it so hard to focus? the answers, all the answers were in his mind, he knew they were, he just couldn't seem to catch them before they ran away. it was like chasing fireflies… the bright wisps of knowledge flying around, so brilliant and varied in their colors, but he couldn't seem to catch up to any of them. even the slowest of them maddenly managed to elude his grasp in the very moment his hands closed around it.

he suddenly remembered his Father. his Father's laughter as he watched his young son trying to catch the autumn fireflies in the small yard. his warm Approval of his older brother's more successful efforts.

"oh Dad, what did you want from me? what did i need to do?"

his father's voice answered, "Be my son." he looked over and saw his father standing in the corner, as imposing as ever. "I knew," he growled. "Your mother may not have been sure, but I was. I always knew the truth. You were always too weak to be my blood. Doesn't it all make sense? I was too good to you. I should have turned you out the minute I figured out the truth, but your mother… She was worried about what the neighbors would think. And I figure she still had some kind of soft spot for you. Like you pity a stray, you know? She never really loved you, she took care of you out of obligation. The same way you took care of her."

he thrashed at the bonds that held him to the cold hard table, "no! no! no no no no! it wasn't like that! i loved Mom. i loved you too. at least i tried to…" he heard his Father's chuckle echo and fade away.

he sobbed softly for a few moments. or maybe hours. no time here, just the echoes of the mind trying to comfort itself and turn itself inside out. at the same time.

after the silence had consumed even the memory of the sound, he looked over to where the woman had been. she was still there, watching him with her Burning Blue Eyes, silent and obscure.

"he couldn't be here. he's dead four years. madness & poison. dead man, dead dead dead. hurt me still. always. never done. not my fault. **not my fault!** why not be mad? can't, it's Wrong. Wrong to hate. it's Family."

"Family is important to you."

"it's Everything."

"Yet you've made little attempt to create one of your own."

"can't." he shook his head vigorously. "never can have that. never. especially after knowing, knowing the truth."

"You're afraid of passing on bad traits to your children? That the genes would override any kind of upbringing you gave them?"

He shook his head again. "no. just a bad father. know myself, know I run too hard, too fast, too far."

"But you said that you never could after learning the truth. That suggests that you have some fear of who's in your bloodline."

"explains, anger. can't take the chance. innocent life, wracked by pain."

"Are you talking about your potential children or yourself?"

"maybe both."

he let his head go back to looking at the ceiling…


	4. I'm in ur system, chattin wit ur cops

In back corner of what a few years ago would have been a smoky coffee shop, Zillah put the finishing touches on the research she could do on the computer. It was a lot more than most people would have thought could be accomplished. The flash drive the kid had included with her stuff had proved most useful for working around several obstacles to the information she required. She saved the most risky trip for last, so she could leave upon completing it.

The NYPD IT department was definitely good at their jobs, but apparently not given the budget to completely redo their system architecture, leaving some little wormholes open for the dedicated to wriggle through. And dedicated was the word. They had done a hell of a job covering their known weak points, but in the end, a few hours of patient drilling had gotten her through the firewall. Zillah had decided that knowing more about who she was looking for as well as who she might be facing would be a "good idea". Plus she had to admit, she wanted to know if this guy was worth it. The information on the prison personnel, the shift times, and all the other secret tidbits were just a bonus.

The little terminal beeped at her, letting Zillah know that someone had found her in the system. She considered dropping her ICE and making her getaway, but noticed that they seemed to be interested in what she was doing more than booting her out and running her down. At least for the moment. And she didn't really want to info-bomb the NYPD either. They were going to be needed by the time everything was over. Zillah wasn't a strong believer in law & order, but cities needed effective police to keep them from devolving into bubbling pits of chaos. Plus there was the whole idea of keeping this little expedition on the down low and scrambling the NYPD computer system was very a Big & Obvious thing to do.

So Zillah decided to do the next best thing. She pushed a few buttons and the notice flashed more insistently in the corner of the screen. A few seconds more and she had a window open on both her screen and one of the terminals she determined to be in the IT command center.

"Hello," she typed. "I know you know that I'm here, so I figure I shouldn't pass up the chance to chat with some of New York's finest." She hit enter and waited, senses extended to pick up any trace of officers closing in. Marlo still looked chill and she knew he would get spooked the minute he sensed trouble. He'd stay put, but it would show in his face like a neon sign.

The words typed themselves across her screen a few moments later, "You are aware that you have intruded into the New York Police Department computer system? You do know that it's a felony to do that?"

"Yeah, I know. But I needed some information. Sorry I to go about it this way, but I didn't really have a choice. I'm not trying to mess you guys up or anything. I have to commend you actually, it took a good long time to crack your wall. You really need to bitch at your brass more to get the funding for upgrading your architecture. I'm sure you know that already though."

"We see that you visited several parts of the system: Personnel, prisons, private files for a number of detectives, quartermasters' records. What are you looking for information on? What are your plans?"

"Now see, you're going all establishment on me, d00d. c0m3 0n. ! n03s y3r b3773r 7h4n 7h4t. (come on. I know you're better than that.) I'm sure you realize no little script-kiddie could be here chatting with you, so show some speckt, kk? I'm not going to tell you anything about my plans. Really it's for your own good. If I did, you might want to help me, & that just wouldn't do now would it?"

"Is this information going to be used to carry out an attack against the police or any civilian targets?"

"I'm not a terrorist. I'm a freelancer. I'm not going to hurt anyone. At least not permanently… Just relax and stop freaking out. We're just l33t h4x0rs talking and hanging out. I know this is unexpected and perhaps even a bit surreal, but I assure you, I'm not trying to game you in any way."

"Why can't you tell us what your plans are if you're not going to be carrying out any terrorist actions?"

"If you're going to be that way, I'm just going to leave. But I will let you in on a secret before I go. One of your own is lost. In pain. Suffering. And there is only one, maybe two of your brother officers who know about it. Then there's me. I know. Now I know everything. And while they're doing their own thing, using their own tactics, I've been retained by an outside party to resolve the situation in a more direct manner. Now the question is, who will get there first?"

She sat back and watched the screen. Nothing happened. 'Heh,' Zillah thought. 'That shook em. Don't know what to make of something like that. Well to tell truth, if I was in their shoes, I wouldn't know either.'

Two minutes crawled by and she wondered if she should be leaving. If they had finally called the beat officers to go get her. She was sure they'd have the area she was in narrowed down considerably by now, if not her exact location. She had been careful and put up a lot of trace traps and signal bounces before going in, but the time she had spent combined with their superior computing power meant it was still likely they knew right where she was sitting. Marlo was looking bored, smoking his cigarette and reading his manga.

The words spelled out, "What are you talking about? We don't know of anything like that. I'm sure all resources would have been mobilized if there was an officer in trouble."

"You believe what you want, I know what's really going on. Keep this channel open and I might come back to fill you in on more happenings later on. It's going to be exciting I'm sure. That is unless you've reported me and are on your way to come arrest me? It's your call. Don't you want to see what they're hiding in the dark places? Where no one looks… They even keep cops there sometimes, though they may not know that. Yet. Have a good day, and if you've already sent the cavalry after me, happy hunting."

And with that Zillah simply signed out of the system, imploded all her traps, and walked out to her waiting cab. 'Yup. The next best thing. Scramble their heads. Now to put together a team.'

"Marlo, where would one find people of a persuasion to be physical now and not worry about it later?"


	5. Vision, Duality

Again capitalization is on purpose in this chapter.

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he didn't know if he was asleep or not. not for sure, but he thought that this time he might be asleep, or else having very vivid hallucinations. the walls weren't gone, but they were hazy things on the edge of vision instead of the stark boundaries they had been. the ceiling was definitely gone though. the sky above was a painting of golden clouds, orange and yellow streaking the sky. the woman was still there though. somehow clearer, but not. her Eyes still Burned though. when she wasn't speaking she was so silent as to not be there at all, but her presence was palpable.

"what is this? something burning? disaster…"

"I cannot say. I do not see the way you see."

the sounds started to reach him. loud, clanging, ringing, discordant tones of chaos in the void. there were voices mixed in to it, but what words they spoke eluded him in the swirl. the smoke stung his eyes and burned in his nose and throat. as he focused past the shimmering mists that used to be the walls, he could see the ruins of a city. he seemed to be lying in the middle of an open area in the middle of it. The table wasn't metal, it was stone. How'd he get here? What was happening? Even though the scene that surrounded him was terribly surreal, he began to feel more focused than he had in a while. A maelstrom of light and fury jerked his attention to his left, where he saw a group of people fighting. It was a vicious, bloody battle in close quarters, but the people weren't fighting each other. Their fury was directed at some sort of strange being in the center of the melee. It looked mostly human, but had something about it that was just… wrong… The screams echoed throughout the little clearing, and after they died away, everything lay dead.

He was suddenly afraid of being found tied down by one of those strange creatures and began struggling to get away from his chains. It was useless though. He was held fast and tight. He fought to calm himself, to prevent himself from hyperventilating in panic. He looked to his right. There were more dead people and another one of the creatures lying dead there too. He thought that there were probably many more lying there outside his field of vision. The dark lady was standing on his right, same as ever. He heard soft footsteps to his left and looked over again.

He saw another woman there, but she could be seen clearly. She made sound when she stepped between the bodies of the fallen. She wasn't one of the other creatures, but she didn't seem quite right for a human either. He felt uneasy as she approached him, but not afraid. Predator. That was the word that went through his mind as she stalked easily and fluidly across the ground in her bare feet. Her hair was flaming red, but her eyes were closed. She wore a red dress that was barely there anymore, it had been torn to shreds, but she still wore it. Whatever had done the tearing of the dress had torn her body as well. Healed scars of gargantuan rents in her glowing, pale flesh were plainly visible on her exposed skin, like massive claws had raked her all over.

She stopped a few feet away from where he lay bound, and turned her head to one side slightly, like trying to hear a distant sound. From one side there was a shout and a man ran towards her left side, calling for aid. She calmly raised her hand, and Bobby saw the massive pistol she carried. She fired once and the man fell like a sack, a clean shot in the head, killing him instantly. He couldn't understand why she would kill a helpless person, and so easily! Like it meant nothing. Maybe she was on the side of the creatures?

He was trying to wrestle with this, when an unholy shriek came from her right, and one of the creatures leapt out of no where towards her. She parried it's clawing attack with the strange sword she carried in her right hand. She blocked and countered it's frenzied swipes at her, snarling defiance at the evil thing, until she found an opening and struck her blade home, deep into it's heart. She smirked at it, jerked loose the blade and swung it around to take it's head clean off.

His confusion at the scene being played before him was profound. Which side was she on? What did she want? She turned around and stepped closer to him.

"I see you," she said. "Do you see me?"

"Yes. At least I think I do."

"You're learning, then. There may be hope for you yet," she smirked.

"Can you let me go? Help me?"

"Maybe. Nothing is certain yet. You still have a ways to go before you're ready."

"Ready for what?"

She cocked her head to one side and smiled lopsidedly. "To be a real boy."

"I don't understand. I am a real boy, person I mean. I have a job and an apartment. I pay my taxes and donate to charity. I have a subscription to Smithsonian magazine." She didn't seem inclined to respond to any of his statements, so he tried something else. "Will you open your eyes?"

"Why?"

"You asked if I saw you, but I can't see all of you if your eyes are shut."

She chuckled lightly. "Always the seeker. Very well, but remember you asked."

She looked at his face and opened her eyes. He gasped. They weren't human of that he was immediately certain. They glowed in the strange dusk of destruction, yellow gold, pupiless and entirely too knowing. Then he realized he could see her wings now. The right one was covered in black feathers, like a hole cut into space. The left one was shimmering white & leathery, like a bat's wing made of pearl. Understanding rose in his mind like a dawn, illuminating the mystery before him.

"Now I see," he said.

Everything faded away into darkness and he realized he had at least a moment of peaceful sleep coming upon him.


	6. Meanwhile at MCS

Back in the Computer Response Unit, Zach Anderson sat staring at the blinking cursor on the screen in front of him. The other two monitors clearly showed the hacker's data path, and his probable location in the city, but he couldn't seem to do more with it. He should have called the officer in charge, should have had them on their way to that corner, trying to find whoever had managed to get inside their systems. The words still hung there though, almost taunting him from the screen. Officer in trouble. No one knows.

He shook his head, no this was bait. It had to be some kind of trick or head game. He reached for the phone, but he found himself unable to dial the extension to set off the hunt. He looked back at the screen again. He had dealt with a fair share of hacker types. Cocky and self-assured, confident that they could do no wrong. This one was different. He was trying to find a common ground; he even said he wouldn't tell what he was up to because "If I did, you might want to help me…" On the surface it sounded arrogant as hell, sure that Zach would give up everything he had to chase the hacker's cause. But nothing else in the conversation pointed to that kind of attitude. Something about the whole exchange wouldn't add up in his head. Until he knew for sure, he couldn't send the troops out.

Besides, the hacker had alluded to other plans. Tipping him off that they could easily track him down this early in the game might not be a good idea. Sure he knew that they could find him, but he probably didn't know how little time it had actually taken to pinpoint his location. The hacker said he might come back too, give more information… If the officers failed to capture him, he might not come back. No this was the right call. He would report the intrusion and his thoughts on the hacker to his lieutenant, give his recommendations, and hope his lieutenant would see things the same way.

Ten minutes later, Zach and his lieutenant, Mark Jackson, were riding up the elevator to the tenth floor. Fortunately, Lt. Jackson had seen it his way, but was still pissed as hell about the whole mess. He called his captain, who called other people… Well long story short, the top brass heard about it, and they were ordered to take it up to Major Case on the double. 'No one hacks the NYPD, alludes to attacks and then gets away with it!'

Zach was immensely grateful Jackson had left out the part about the hacker mentioning a missing officer. If there was in fact someone MIA that wasn't common knowledge, making it so could be dangerous to them for so many reasons. He tried not to think about that too much. He did want to know if it was true though, without announcing it to everyone. Zach was hoping to get a chance to ask a few people a couple of quiet questions up on ten. It was likely he would be left at MCS to help with the technical side of the investigation anyway.

'That's odd,' Eames thought. 'I wonder what the CRU is doing up here?' She recognized Zach from working him before, but not the other officer with him. He looked like he was in charge though, and from the look on his face, VERY unhappy about something. Kind of like her own expression. 'This is bad. I've gotta get him out of there. I know the Captain's working on something, but I wish he'd let me know what. This is driving ME crazy…' She turned her attention back to the papers on her desk, shuffling them aimlessly, and occasionally glancing up at the empty desk across from her. 'Damn it Bobby! Why do you always have to do things like this? Baka-ni!' Her last exclamation confused her slightly, where had that come from? Must be those crazy cartoons her nephew liked so much… Eames saw the techs had gone straight to the Captain's office and seemed to be having a very deep conversation.

Captain Ross couldn't believe what he was hearing. A hacker had gotten into the NYPD. Had a conversation with the Specialist, and then took off. Lt. Jackson had decided it would be OK to tell Ross the entire story, instead of the slightly edited version that got passed up the chain. If anyone could be trusted to do the right thing, it would be Ross. He could be a stickler for the rules to the point of frustration sometimes, but in the end, he would err on the side of justice rather than the rules.

"So, what you're telling me Specialist is that you didn't immediately report the intrusion because of what they told you about a missing officer, that you have no knowledge of, and a feeling that they weren't jerking your chain?"

"Yes Captain, that's the short version. I also felt that if an immediate apprehension was attempted, we could lose an opportunity to identify the hacker's intended targets and/or accomplices. With respect sir, no one goes to the trouble of breaking into a system like ours just for the kicks or without a specific plan in mind. There must be something larger at work."

"Well I just got off the phone with the Chief before you two walked in here, and he agrees that there is a larger game afoot here. He wants this handled quietly and quickly. Jackson, I want to keep Anderson with us here so he can coordinate with my detectives."

"No problem," Jackson replied. "Anything you need up here, just let us know."

"Great. Anderson, get yourself set up while I brief my detectives, you can use the video room. If you run out of space let me know. I also want a full list of everything the intruder accessed ready ASAP."

As Jackson and Anderson left his office, Captain Ross took a step into the squad room. "Eames," he called, getting her attention. She looked over at him as he waved her over, stepping inside a few moments later. "Shut the door detective."

"We've got a problem," he said.

She looked puzzled for a moment. "What's going on? What are the techs doing up here?"

"Our systems were hacked about 20 minutes ago. The hacker claims they were looking for information that they couldn't get any other way. They wouldn't reveal their plans because 'we might want to help' if he did." He looked up at Eames, studying her face. "Alex," he said, startling her. Ross NEVER used her first name. "He knew. He said that he knew an officer was missing and no one else was aware of it."

"I…" She sat down. "I haven't told anyone but you."

"I've kept it under wraps myself. I don't know how this could've gotten out."

"Maybe someone at the prison, directly in contact with him figured it out."

"If that was true, why wouldn't they contact the local PD, or us even? Why go through the trouble, the risk? Why the cloak and dagger routine?"

"They might be afraid of getting busted. If the abuse allegations are true, Goren would have proof. If he gets out, the whole thing gets blown open. If someone covertly makes him disappear, the proof goes with him and no one's the wiser. That still doesn't explain the hacker though. If someone on the inside is trying to keep this quiet, why expose themselves to the scrutiny that something like this would cause? They would already know more about the prison than you could get out of our systems… It doesn't make sense."

"Well, hopefully our technical assistance can enlighten us further." He went to the door and called Anderson in.

"I have a basic list I already compiled, but one with the complete file details is still processing. Shouldn't be too much longer though. Fifteen, twenty minutes at most."

"Good. Specialist Anderson, this is Detective Eames."

"Yes sir, we've met before."

"Good then there won't be any trouble working with her?"

"No sir. May I ask though, where's your partner detective? It was great working with him last time. He might not be technical, but he catches on so fast, and his ability to see emerging patterns is incredible! It could really be helpful here."

Ross and Eames exchanged looks. Zach looked back and forth between them. After a moment the realization hit him like a brick. He hadn't expected to find an answer so easily. "The hacker wasn't lying, was he?"

"No," Eames said, "he wasn't. I can't tell you all the details, it's really better if you don't know anyway, but it is true."

"I understand, but it would help me sift through the data if I know what I'm looking for. I'm quite sure the hacker accessed random files in addition to what he was actually looking for to throw us off his trail. The more information I have, the faster I can eliminate the irrelevant data."

Eames opened her mouth to protest but Ross cut her off. "I agree detective. This is quickly becoming a bigger problem than just your partner. This attack has raised way too many questions already, and I only see more coming as we look into it. I want answers. Do whatever you have to, but figure this out. Fast." He gave them both firm looks to make sure they grasped that there would be no arguments, then said, "Dismissed."


	7. By Blood, By Choice

He woke up. he knew he had been asleep, it had been cool and dark and peaceful there. now he was back in the hot white room again. he stared at the too bright lights in the ceiling. he looked over and saw her still there. he thought he had a chance to be out of here, even if it was that burned out husk of a city with it's strange creatures trying to kill people. but here he was back again, in the same place he started.

"was that a dream? or just a hallucination?"

"It could have been either, or something entirely different. You know your own mind better than I do."

"are you here to taunt me? you sit there and talk to me, but you never tell me anything or try to help me! Why are you here?"

"I am here because I need to be. If the time comes, you will understand why. If it does not… well, think of it this way: You won't be totally alone in eternity."

"even if they keep me here for the rest of my life, I still will die eventually."

"But how long will that be? Another 40 years? Fifty? Maybe even longer with the way science advances itself these days. Do you really think that all those years **won't** feel like forever? Especially when you're sitting in your stagnation? Unable to move forward or back, perpetually shuffling in the same little circle. It's almost sad. If it weren't self-inflicted. Or maybe that makes it even more sad. I don't really know."

"self-inflicted? how is this self-inflicted? Because I tried to help people? Because I was doing my Job?"

"You fail because you don't see far enough. You forgot some of the basic concepts, and now struggle in your blindness. You give and give and give, but it never seems to be enough. Why do you think that is?"

"enough for what? I never wanted anything in return. I give because it's the right thing to do. to help others, to make the world better."

"Make the world better… Such a noble concept, a lofty ideal. Do you really think of yourself that way?"

"Maybe," said a gravely voice from the other side of the room. "But not anymore. Isn't that right Bobby? You never told anyone else what you found out. They all think it was your mother's death that changed you, but we know the truth. How could you possibly be anything noble when you have a devil for a father?" Brady smiled grimly at him. "Yes, I know what I am. Do you?"

"I'm not a monster. i try to help people, make things better. you're cold, killer, never like you."

"Oh come on! You know you could do it. I know you could do it. You wanted to end me yourself, with your bare hands!" Brady looked him up and down. "Why didn't you? What stopped you? Maybe I was wrong, maybe you really are a little weak thing."

"couldn't kill. it was wrong, even you. not if i didn't have to."

"You felt it though didn't you," he said, sliding closer, bringing his face level with Bobby's. "You felt it leap up and send fire through your veins. The rage, the power, flowing like a beast unchained! Wasn't it great? Wasn't it the best thing you've ever felt in your whole rotten miserable little life? Tell me! Tell me you felt it, you loved it, you wanted more!"

"YES," he screamed! "Yes I felt it, like electricity in my spine, my body alive, like nothing else… i knew it was wrong though, knew it couldn't happen. stopped. not a monster."

"But you've got one inside you. You know it. You always knew it, you just were better able to deny it, to override it with your intellect. But when your brain failed you, kept failing you, what rose to take it's place? Without the logic to keep it at bay, it crawled up from the depths of your soul like a stygian nightmare, black and cold. Now you feel it under your skin everyday, tainting whatever you touch. You used to wonder if that was true before, now you know it without a doubt."

"no. No. I'm good. I'm a good person. I know it."

"Bobby, Bobby, Bobby… How can you keep denying what you know is true? You know what is inside. You even admit you felt it."

"I'm not you. Nothing like you."

"How can you say that? I'm your father."

He hauled on his bonds, raising himself the inch they would allow, straining his neck to bring his head closer to Brady. Bobby looked him dead in the eye and confidently, solidly said, "It doesn't control me. I don't care what you say, I have no part of you."

Brady looked away with a dejected look on his face. "I had such high hopes for you. Too bad. I guess I won't stay where I'm not wanted," he said and walked into the wall.

He looked over at the woman again. He could tell she had very light, maybe even white hair. How could he have missed that before? She seemed to have gained a bit of substance. Her Eyes were just as clear to him as ever though.

"Who visited with you?"

"my father. my biological father. I hate him."

"You said before it was wrong to hate family."

"he's not Family. he was… a component in a process. that's not me."

"So you have rejected him? As a father, and as family? You made that choice?"

"yes. yes… I made a choice."

"What gives you the right to make that choice when your very blood says otherwise?"

"I… i don't know… maybe… maybe no one else can."


	8. Zillah walks, MCS gets a clue

Marlo drove to the far side of the borough, where the buildings were more grey and black than red and brown. He stopped on a small street where could be seen a collection of seedy bars and other less reputable establishments. "You sure you want to be down here, boss? This place can get pretty rough."

"Thanks for your concern Marlo," Zillah said, "but I can take care of myself. Don't you worry about that. Besides the type that I'm looking for would know better than to try anything with me." She opened the door and stepped out. "Ok, you be cool and chill here, I don't think I'll be long. Make those calls we talked about while you wait, cause that's our next stop."

"You got it."

She walked up the street looking at the bars, the strip joints, the liquor stores, the apartment buildings. 'Where are you hiding my little helpers… I know you'll be here, sure as shit. Just have to ferret you out.' Her eyes wandered the windows, scanning for the signs, the little marks her kind of people make wherever they go, telling of their presence, warning away the foolish. She was nearing the end of the block, some burned out buildings capping the street, when she saw it. A small bar, dark like all the others, but the lighted signs in the window advertised Guinness, Strongbow and Ichiban rather than the usual Budweiser, Michelob, and Pabst.

There was also someone standing out front, not that bouncers weren't common on a street like this, but this one had the look of calm competence that came from training and experience. He wasn't hired just because he looked menacing. He was also dressed just a shade nicer than the rest of the bouncers on the street. He watched her as she walked across the street and made her way to the door. "Kinda late in the day for sunglasses, isn't it miss?"

Zillah stopped dead. The sunglasses comment she wouldn't have thought twice about, but no one called her 'miss'. It was so weird! "Now, what makes you think I'm a miss dude," she drawled slightly as she let her bit of southern accent present itself.

The man didn't quite know how to respond. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"I'm sure you didn't." She smiled widely, letting her teeth show. He suddenly seemed uncomfortable. "Now that that's all fixed," she continued, "how about helping me out for a minute? I need to find some people, but I'm new in town, so maybe you can make some intros for me? Tell em what a swell girl I am and all that shit right?"

"What are you looking for? What do you need?"

"There's a smart fella," she said, slapping him on the back, knocking the wind out of him, "asking the right questions first thing! Why don't you call your relief over and we'll just step aside and have a quick chat, OK?"

Anderson had finished with the list of files, and he had to admit it was a lot easier finding what seemed to be the most relevant files once he knew what the hacker was likely after. Eames was still going through it, checking details. She winced slightly when she saw the intruder had taken a long look at Goren's file. Case notes, personal information, a little bit of everything. 'What was this guy after?' she thought. 'Ross was right, we're only finding more questions as we go.'

Anderson had gone back to the video room to do his own searches, trying to find any other systems that had been compromised in the last 24 hours, focusing on the few hours immediately before the attack on the NYPD system.

He also decided to try something a bit unusual. The terminal the hacker had used wasn't a public terminal. He thought that he may have even been using a cellular connection and not a regular broadband connection. If he could tell for sure, and if it was cellular, then they could track it like a cell phone. So, he went online to a variety of hacker sites that he had infiltrated and had trusted handles on, and posted a message. He said a friend was bragging that they had hacked the NYPD & had anyone heard of anything like that happening today? Hackers couldn't resist bragging to one another, even just a little, so if anyone knew anything, this would be the place to find out.

If Zach's hacker got wind that they were talking about him online, and maybe even someone else was taking credit for his hack, he might log on to defend his work and maybe even provide proof. He could then trace that person's signal back to them and even if they didn't manage to catch him straight out, they might be able to determine if his connection was cellular or not.

At the very least, maybe he had an accomplice or a friend they could track down.

Eames was getting near the breaking point. 'This is crazy! Why hack the system? If you're going to vanish someone you already have, why tell the police about it?' She rubbed her eyes and looked at her screen, then at the pile of folders on the conference room table. 'I need more coffee,' she thought as got up to get another refill.

'Why do they care about the prison information? They'd already know that stuff.' Eames went over the whole list in her head: Prisons, personnel, case files, organizational charts, quartermaster's records, traffic records, statistics. 'What the hell was he really looking for? Could he have been lying about knowing Bobby was in trouble and caught a lucky break that his bluff was true? That's a wild bluff to risk, so it's a good bet he really did know. So if it's not someone on the inside, who?' She noticed that Zach had left her another paper at some point, but she hadn't realized. She read it. "SON OF A BITCH!" Suddenly a lot of questions just got answered.

"Anderson!" Zach jumped as Detective Eames barked his name striding swiftly across the squad room. "Have you found any other system break-ins around the time our guy came to say hi to us?"

"Yes, actually. One."

"Please tell me it was public records."

"Uhhh… Yeah," he looked at her wearing a confused expression. "How'd you know?"

"You finally shared your exact conversation with me," she said sardonically, waving the paper at him.

"I gave that to you hours ago."

"You should have made sure I saw it."

"I'm sorry detective, I didn't realize you were so wrapped up. But anyway, how DID you know?"

"Because it says here," pointing to the line of text, 'I'm not a terrorist, I'm a freelancer,' and down here it says 'I've been retained by an outside party to resolve the situation in a more direct manner,' all of which says to me we're not dealing with someone inside the prison. In fact, the more I think about it, the more it all points to one thing."

"What's that?"

"Prison break."

"WHAT?" Ross exclaimed.

They were standing in the Captain's office, watching his face go red after they told him Eames' theory. "Please tell me you are joking detective. Please tell me you are not seriously suggesting that there is a MERCENARY plotting to break Detective Goren out of prison."

"Yes sir that's exactly what I'm suggesting. All the evidence we've found so far points to it. I know it sounds crazy…"

"Crazy doesn't begin to cover it Eames! Who would do this? I mean you must realize that the most likely candidates are standing in this room?"

" I really have no idea who's behind this, or how they could have known in the first place. Maybe it still is part of a plot to get rid of Goren in the end. Hire an outside party, make it look like a prison break, everybody dies in attempt…"

"And all the loose ends are tied up, untraceably. Anderson, you have anything to add?"

"Well I'm working on flushing the hacker out, or maybe at least one of his friends or accomplices. I'm a trusted member on some underground hacker forums, so I posted a couple messages, seeing if anyone's heard about the hack. They love to brag, especially to one another. A hit like this won't stay quiet for long."

"If he told anyone. Our guy could be a real pro. Knows how to keep his mouth shut."

"That's true sir, but if there was anyone else involved, even in a remote way, they might not be so tight lipped. The intrusion program they used was very sophisticated. I very much doubt that they didn't at least have someone help them test it, if not assist in the writing itself. I left a few hints about the program used, claiming the 'friend' gave me a code sample to prove he could have done it. Right now I'm just waiting to see if I get any bites."

"Keep on it then. In the meantime, Eames see what you can do to lock down this theory of yours. If we're going to go on this, I want it as airtight as you can get it. We need solid evidence to present to the DA."

Anderson beeped. "Umm… We may have something already. Let me check my computer. I set up an alert to let me know if anyone responded to any of my posts." He beeped again. "Another one."

"Well get out there Anderson!"

"Yes captain."


	9. Laugh at the pain

He had been thinking for a long time now. He didn't know how long, but this time it didn't really seem to matter that much.

"What are you thinking about," she asked.

"My Father and my Brother. My life."

"I see."

"Also what brought me here."

"What do you think brought you here?"

"I'm not sure yet. I have an idea though. I don't like thinking about it, but it's there. Are you going to bring more visitors? Show me more visions?

"Why do you think I would know about that?"

"You're the one who's brought them here aren't you?"

"I have done nothing and brought no one. Anyone you have met here is because you have wanted to meet them. Even if you are not consciously aware of that fact."

"I don't know you, so how I could I want to meet you?"

"Even if you are not consciously aware of that fact."

"Heh. That reminds me of the times I would fall asleep reading Freud & Jung"

"Yes dear, I can't remember how many times I had to peel you off a book and tuck you in at night. Looks like you're tucked in pretty well here already though. Aren't you?"

"Mom?"

"Yes Bobby it's your dear old mother. Such an ungrateful boy. But you did try. You just couldn't live up to your brother. It's not really your fault. Even after everything I tried to spare you from that final truth. After you left me, left me alone to suffer and die. I knew though. You don't think I wouldn't know?"

"i'm sorry Mom. i didn't want to leave you. i was trying to help you, you needed doctors looking after you. i came every week. i called every day. even when you didn't know it was me, or were mad at me, i still did it. why didn't you tell me the truth when i asked you?"

"Your Brother, he was always the good boy. He got along with your Father, well you called him that. I never told him you know. I never wanted him to have to worry about his brother. About what he was. Your Father, you know he wanted to get rid of you. I wouldn't let him though. I hoped you would be a good boy. "

he was almost crying now. "i was a good boy! I did everything for you! I stayed up to make sure you made it home. I didn't cry when you got angry and hit me. I made excuses for all the bruises, for all the times you weren't able to think straight. I took care of you when you couldn't, I cooked and cleaned and did everything you ever asked me to do. Frank never did ANY of that. EVER! When you had to go into the hospital where was he? When you got sick where was he? Jesus Christ Mom! He didn't even show up for your FUNERAL! He was too busy getting high!"

She reached over and slapped him in the mouth, hard. "Robert Goren don't you ever take the Lord's name in vain! Not in front of me at least! You can damn your soul to Hell without me watching."

"Why did you love Frank more than me? What was it I did or didn't do? Why couldn't I ever measure up to him, my homeless, addict brother?"

"Frank had some problems, but he'll get better. You…" She sighed deeply. "You just, were always too needy. Too clingy. When you were a baby, you always needed attention. Between that and my husband figuring out you weren't his, and driving him away, well… What was there to love? You just are naturally unlovable I think. But it's really not your fault, it's just the way you are."

"How can you say that Mom? Did you ever love me at all, ever?"

"I did. Not as much as a mother should I guess, but I did. I didn't let my husband throw you out after all. And you took care of me when I was sick, like you said. I remember that for a little while we were all a Family together. That was such a happy time. Oh Bobby, I 'm sorry. It shouldn't have been this way."

"Mom… You don't have to…"

"No you've suffered so much, and it's all my fault. I'm sorry for your life, Bobby. I wish I had never had you after all."

He couldn't believe what she had just said. After everything… it was too much… He laughed. Laughed so hard tears came.

"I don't see what's funny Bobby…" she said.

"You don't? It's all funny, hysterical even! Here I am. Talking to my dead mother who I would have moved heaven and earth to help, and she APPOLOGIZES for giving birth to me. How is that NOT funny?"

"Well I don't know what else to say Bobby. I truly didn't mean to hurt you, but it happened anyway. How could I not apologize? But if you're going to laugh at me like it doesn't mean anything, then I'm going to go. I'll leave you alone. Just like everyone else you've driven off."

"Yeah, you go mom! You and dad and that man! You all can leave!" He looked around the room and saw she had indeed left.

"So," said the Dark Lady, "that was your mother."

"Yes."

"It sounded… heated. You looked very emotional."

"Yes."

"If I may interject a personal observation?"

This was new, and seemed rather strange for her to ask. "Sure."

"You should laugh more. It suits you. When it's not based in hysteria that is."

"It's OK for you to tell me that?"

"It is ultimately of no consequence to the final outcome of these events. Therefore, it is."

"Oh, well, thank you then."


	10. Eames on the trail

Hey there. I've noticed that I've gotten a bunch of hits for this story, but zero reviews. Please review for me! It's better than chocolate malts!

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Anderson double checked his screen. "Yeah this is the place. Negative Zero… What a name."

"Ok we don't have time to mess around, I'll do the talking, you translate anything technical. Got it?"

Zach nodded. Man she was fierce when she was taking charge. "Yes ma'am."

They hopped out of the SUV and headed into the store. There was a young guy standing in the middle of the sales floor, straightening up the boxes of video cards. "What can I do for you today miss?"

Eames showed him her badge. "You can tell me if you were online about 30 minutes ago telling people all about your intrusion program that someone paid you a whole bunch of money for earlier today."

"Hey I don't know anything about that. I sell custom boxes, not programs!"

"No, see, our technical unit traced your IP address to this location. So if it wasn't you, is there someone else here that could have been using the computer?"

"Maybe… Lots of people stop in, hang out…. You know how it is."

"Ok well I see you have camera up on the wall there, so maybe we'll just have a look at the tape and see who was in here in the last half hour. If you were alone, we'll know it was you and then you will have wasted all of our time. Then we'll have to go to the station, and your store will have to be closed, and your computers searched…"

"Ok ok! Alright, if I help you out, will that make you forget about me?"

"Well if we're busy chasing down this guy, I don't think we'll have time to think about you anymore."

"Good enough. There was a woman in here first thing this morning. Wanted heavy duty stuff. A terminal, a few programs, some ICE, laser pointer, PDA, patch cables, I mean really, the WORKS. I showed her some stuff we had up front but she didn't want it. Said she was looking for Chromebook type stuff. Dropped me a wad of cash to cough up the super custom gear I had in the back."

"Ok, did she say WHY she needed the stuff?"

"Uhh… Yeah! She said it was a rescue mission. I thought that was pretty weird. I mean who does stuff like that?"

"Give us a description and we're gone."

"Yeah, about 5'8", dark green pants, dark blue shirt, black jacket, boots, bright red hair, a little pale."

"Eyes?"

"Sunglasses. But… She was weird. I mean like I don't know how, but I got the wiggins just being in the room with her. Like she was eyeing me up for dinner or something, even though she barely looked at me and never took off her shades."

"That's nice. Anything else that would make her stand out? Tattoos, birthmark, scars?"

"Not that I could see. Long pants, long sleeves, t-shirt collar."

Zach could see Eames was wrapping up but still needed to know more. He jumped in, "What do you mean by Chromebook type stuff?"

"I mean like from the Cyberpunk game, the catalogs that you could shop for extra gear out of. All the real heavy duty cyberware kinds of things. Hyper-advanced, well at the time they were, and now it's more fact that fiction. Cutting edge, and some of it's still out there, but a lot of its real now. Come on dude you know what I'm talking about, right?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to be sure we were talking about the same thing. I need a list of everything you sold her. Everything. Or we may just remember to stop back by here later on."

"Ok ok, man," the kid said holding up his hands in surrender, "I feel you. I swear I didn't know what she was planning to do. I don't want this mess coming back on me."

"So," Eames said, "in all the time she was sitting around here, waiting for you to finish getting her order together, she never once mentioned her plans?"

"Nothing beyond what I told you before, that it was a rescue mission."

Eames looked incredulous. "And you didn't think to ASK maybe?"

The kid gave a WTF is she thinking look to Zach before replying. "You don't ask for details. If someone wants to tell you how great they are, they will. If not, it's better to keep it on the DL. The only reason I asked her what she was after in the first place was because I thought she was some corporate raider, going to clean out some bank accounts or something."

"So… You DID ask her what she was doing?"

"Uhh… Well… Ok yeah I asked, because I thought there was going to be a big payout, I figured maybe I could get a cut. I was trying to play the chiX0r, I didn't think she was that good. Then she got mad and told me to fuck off and said that there wasn't any money and she wasn't a goddamn thief."

Anderson looked up sharply, "She said those exact words? 'I'm not a goddamn thief'?"

"Yeah man. That's a direct quote."

Eames looked at Zach, then back to the kid. "I think you should hurry up and get that sales list for us. Now."

"I'm gone," he said and vanished into the back.

"So Anderson, what's important about her saying that she's not a thief?"

"Malicious hackers mostly like to do one of two things: Steal or destroy. She didn't do a thing to hurt our systems when she broke in. She could have caused all kinds of chaos for the whole city, the kind they really like to sit back and watch, but she left everything right where she found it. She made copies, but didn't erase a single bit of data. Now she's stated, forcefully, that she's not interested in stealing from anyone."

"So, it supports the prison break theory. A professional who only does what they have to do to get the job done. No bragging online and no drawing extra attention to themselves by nuking our system."

"My thoughts exactly."

"Now we just have to FIND her." She turned towards the back of the store. "Hey kid! Hurry the hell up or I'm coming back there!"

In the back of the store, the young man was indeed complying with Specialist Anderson's request, but at the same time was also engaged in another task.

He had found video in the sales floor camera of the two cops that showed their faces clearly and plucked out a couple stills from the video file. He packed them into another file on his desktop and opened up the hacking program he had sold the redheaded woman. As he finished making a hard copy list of the equipment he sold to her, he made a few little tweaks in the code of the hack program, and saved a new copy to a flash drive. After that, he quickly copied some information from a few other small programs he had running. Then he used the original version to send the pictures and a little note pinging out across the web, looking for it's codemate.

Never let it be said that Negative Zero didn't take very good care of his customers.

He heard the lady cop yelling towards the back of the store and, gathering the all the copies he had made of everything, carefully shut down his computer and walked to the waiting detective.


	11. I got the phone call

Author note: Hey hey, I'm back! Sorry for the long absence but I just couldn't see how to finish this. Zillah decided to talk yesterday. About HERSELF, which she NEVER does. But did she talk to me… Oh no no no… No she decided she'd talk to Bobby of all people. It had nothing to do with this story, but she decided she'd actually answer his questions… sigh Without further ado, Part 11.

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"Marlo, remind me to give you a bonus. This is a _singular_ piece of work," Zillah said, hefting the large machine gun. "Seriously, this thing is a dream come true. I didn't think anyone could do something like this." She chuckled. "I don't know if it's the best for what we're doing, but they're sure going to know we're not playing around."

"Glad you like it," said the other man. "Marlo knows how to bring me good business." He was tall, dusky, and well muscled with a craggy, clean-shaven face. "I made that a while ago, just to see if I could do it. Heh, I never expected to find anyone that could actually use it. I am pleased it will see some action after all."

Zillah grinned. "Pleased enough to give me a discount?"

The big man grinned in return. "No discount." He chuckled at her expression then added, "Plenty of ammo though! You'll need it."

"And a scope. I need one of those too."

"Are you sure? It's a machine gun, not a sniper rifle…"

"I'm sure and I know. I'm also trying to keep this from being a massacre. Bringing in the heavy guns is all well and good for show, spraying it everywhere is just going to get a lot of people dead. I know there's going to some casualties in this mess, I'm just trying to keep them lower."

"You, lady, are a strange one indeed. Most of my customers for this type of weapon don't care at all for those that might be in their way."

"I get that a lot. I'm into destruction and mayhem, I just don't believe in killing off my audience."

The big man laughed. "Killing off your audience? That's one I've never heard before. I like it! Anything else you need?"

"Yeah. A few flash-bangs, some smokers, a couple of explosives, the kind for breaching, not frags, and some rubber bullets for my pistol."

"Any tear gas cans?"

"No, they'll be geared for that. Probably using it against us… Throw in a few masks too, OK?"

"Sure thing. Give me a minute to get it all together for you." With that he turned and went into the rows of shelves in the back of the shop.

Zillah considered everything that had happened so far, and how well it had gone. Especially since she had announced herself to the NYPD. She couldn't help but wonder when the other shoe would drop and things would start to become their more usual, chaotic normal. She pulled out the little palmtop computer and checked for signal. At seeing four bars on the indicator, she opened up the browser and went to check her email as well as a couple other sites she had found worth watching, mostly hacker forums. As she opened her email, a message popped into her inbox, catching her by surprise. It was from the computer shop kid, funny she didn't recall giving him her email… But then, he said he was hardcore. She carefully opened the email and saw there were a couple of attachments, pictures. After scanning them she opened them up to see two people inside his store. The note he had written said "0s r 100n ph0r j00. 34\/3s (c#!xx0r) & 4\d3rs0n." (Cops are looking for you. Eames (female) & Anderson.)

She figured that he had given her up to them, at least somewhat. It's CYA out there, so she wasn't offended. He did heads up her after all, even though it would mean more trouble if he got caught doing it. Well the other shoe was at least on it's way down, but it hadn't hit yet she knew. The plan was in place, the extras knew their parts and soon everyone would have all their props. The stage was set, all that remained was to pull up the curtain and get on with show. She grinned her razorblade smile as she thought, "Perhaps it's time for ALL the players to be introduced to one another." She looked at the pictures again. "I wonder what you're like Detective Eames?"

--

Back in the car, Anderson was trying to make out heads or tails of the information the kid had given them in the shop. "This doesn't make any sense that I can see. I just don't understand this. Is Don on the phone," he asked the open cell.

"Yes I'm here," came the voice from the handset.

"Good, I'm sending you some stuff. I'm not getting anywhere with it on my laptop, maybe you'll have better luck back at the office."

"Ok I see it," Don replied.

"Great, call me as soon as you get something. I'm still going to be in the field for a while."

"Sure thing Zach. I did need to tell you though; we got a ping from the terminal you said you were looking for."

"When? Where?"

"Just a minute ago, I was reaching for the phone when you called. Location was somewhere between Brooklyn and Long Island, we only had it for a second."

"Could you tell if it disconnected or if it was a scramble?"

"Not sure. It was there and gone like that."

"Ok," Zach said. "Ok just keep an eye out for now, and call me as soon as you get something on the code I sent you or if it pops again."

"You got it," Don said, and hung up.

"So,"Eames said, "you can't make out the program from here. What can you tell me?"

"Well, everything she purchased tells me this is not her first time doing something like this. She knew exactly what kinds of things she was going to need, while still being flexible enough to take on a system she hasn't been able to look at beforehand. With a backup plan as well. If she's as good as she seems to be so far, or perhaps has a more tech-savvy accomplice hiding out there, she can cut them off completely, leaving the way clear and open for her to walk in, get her man, and walk out again."

"Except for the fact that even if the communications are down, there are a lot of guards there who aren't going to let her walk in and out."

"That's your area, not mine."

As she was drawing breath for a bit of snark in reply, Eames' cell phone began to ring. She frowned at the caller ID, seeing it was Goren's number, she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out Goren's phone. "Zach."

"Yes? Aren't you going to get that?"

"Get them to trace this line, NOW."

The offhand remark he'd been preparing died in his throat as he looked at her face. "Yes ma'am," he said and began dialing his office again.

Eames pulled off the road and after letting it ring a couple more times, opened the phone like it was going to bite her. "Hello," she said, keeping her voice calm.

"Detective Eames I presume. Sure took you long enough to answer, but then traces do take a minute to set up," purred a female voice.

"Who is this? No, wait, I know who you are. You're our redheaded hacker girl aren't you?"

"You couldn't make Detective without being so smart! Yup that's me. You can call me Zillah, since I know your name already… Alexandra."

There was a moment of silence as Eames tried to process this, but before she could reply, Zillah spoke again. "Oh was that too creepy? Sorry about that. Got carried away in the moment. Anywho, I'm sure you're wondering all about me and my plans and fun things like that. I did hear that you were looking for me, so I wanted to say hi. Since I heard you dropped in on poor Neggy, I figure you have an idea of what I'm after… But then you ARE his partner, so if you didn't know it would be a grave situation indeed.

"Did you just call to brag or was there a point here somewhere?"

"Indeed there is. I'd like to meet. Someplace neutral, just us, for a small chat. Then you can decide if you want to arrest me or help me."

"What in the hell makes you think that I'd even CONSIDER helping you?"

"Because I'm probably the only way your partner will see daylight again this century. At least see it and still be sane enough to appreciate it," Zillah growled. "You care for him, more that you'll admit. You'll do what must be done to bring your dear friend home again. Name a place and time."

"Hamden Court Pub. Forty-five minutes."

"See you there then." The phone went dead.

"Anderson, did you get her?"

He shook his head. "Sorry Detective, she had it bouncing from tower to tower all over the city. We narrowed it down a bit, but no hard lock."

Eames sighed heavily. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter much anyway. We'll see her soon enough." She started the car again and pulled onto the road, heading back to the city.

"You're really going to meet her?"

"Don't sound so shocked. She hasn't done anything violent, and this may be our best chance to see what's really going on here. Sure I'd love to have her in cuffs in an interrogation room, but you take what you can get. Anything is going to be better than nothing in this mess."

"Aren't you going to call for back-up?"

"She said it was a girls' night out. I'm sticking to that. Besides _you're_ my back-up." She took her Zach's startled expression and chuckled. "Welcome to field work."


	12. Truth plain and hidden

"so who's coming by next? all of my dead family has dropped in already… well immediate family anyway," Bobby said.

"That is entirely up to you, as I have stated," the Blue Eyed woman said. "Perhaps…" She hesitated.

"Perhaps what?"

"It is against the rules. I'm sorry."

"What's against the rules?"

"You must discover these things for yourself. By yourself. I cannot assist you in any way."

"But you want to?"

"You are… special. More I cannot say. Even revealing my personal feelings on this matter is something I should not have done. Please ask me no more about it."

"Alright. I don't know what rules you're bound to follow, but then so much that's happened here doesn't make any sense. I don't think it affects me to honor your wishes. After all it's really the least I can do in return for you keeping me company in here." He looked at her closely again. He could see that her hair was indeed pure snowy white, and her complexion was almost tanned, but it looked naturally that way rather than time spent in the sun. She was still somewhat indistinct, but she looked young. "How old are you?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Your hair is white, but you don't look old. I still can't see you clearly, so I may be wrong. I just was curious."

There was a smile in her voice as she replied "Older than you realize, but younger than you think. This isn't about me though. How old are you?"

"I'm… forty-five. 46 in August."

"That is how many years you have lived, a measure of time. How OLD are you?"

He considered her question for a while. Then he answered, "Older than you realize, but younger than you think."

She laughed lightly. "Out of all the times I have asked that question, and all the times people have told me their age over and over, all the times that people have parroted my own answer back to me to get me stop asking, I believe that you are the first to have truly understood both the question and the answer so quickly. Your intellect is indeed remarkable. I have posed a question of insight and you answered it well. By tradition I may answer one question of yours now."

"Oh. That's good to know. Um… I would like some clarification, but I don't want to use it up before I ask…"

"I am not cruel, nor a trickster. I would only count it if it was a question I would not normally be able to answer under the rules. I would also give fair warning that this was so."

"Well, that clears it up. Can I think about it first? Or do I have to ask right now?"

"You may ask whenever you like. You have earned it by your own wit; none can take it from you."

"Heh. I've earned a lot of things people seem to be able to take from me."

"Do you truly believe this is so? That everything you care about can be taken from you against your will?"

"I… It seems that way in my experience."

"Are you recalling all of your experience? Or just what supports your statement?"

"I thought I was thinking of everything… What did I miss?"

"Would you like me to answer or was it rhetorical?"

"Rhetorical. For now anyway. I know the key to all of this is in there somewhere. I just … keep forgetting where I was at when I thought I was… getting close," he breathed heavily. "There's… meaning in this madness, or… maybe… there's madness in the meaning… My head's going all foggy now… I… don't know… what I know…"

She walked towards him, slowly and deliberately, coming closer than she ever had before. She bent down and whispered into his ear as he finished his rant: "And there, dearheart, is the truth of it all."


	13. Meeting

Eames pulled up behind the Hamden Court Pub, ten minutes early for her meeting with the mysterious Zillah. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a bit nervous, but then that was always true when dealing with unknown quantities. She looked over at Anderson who looked like he was the worse off of them both. "Hey," she said, gently laying a hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be fine. Relax. You don't need to come in or anything, just stay here and watch my back OK? I really don't think anything is going to happen here, but just in case I'm depending on you to keep it together."

He nodded once and took a deep breath. "I'm good. I just don't like this sort of thing. I'm used to having a terminal between myself and the action."

"You're doing great so far. Just keep it together a little longer."

"Yeah I can do this. You'd better get in there so she doesn't think something is up where she gets here."

Eames smiled at him. "You're getting the hang of things already. Alright, just be ready if I call." With that she stepped out of the car and made her way around to the front of the pub.

She opened the door and scanned the room, trying to spot her based on the kid's description. No one looked right for it, so she made her way through the smoky air, the jukebox blaring, to a booth in the back. The waitress came by and she ordered a beer for the look of it. She was trying to keep an eye on the door without being too obvious about it, but wasn't being entirely successful. She noticed a couple of other patrons look over at the door a few times, and then move out of her line of sight.

She was doing one of her rounds of looking at the table to not be focusing on the door when a bottle appeared in front of her. She noticed right off that it wasn't the beer she ordered, but as she looked up to tell the waitress that her order was wrong, the rest of the person that brought it sat herself in the booth opposite Eames.

"Tsk tsk, Detective. I would have thought you'd have better taste than piss domestic beer. Well, I took the liberty of fixing that for you," Zillah said as she flashed her smile at the blonde across the table.

"Well, I was wondering if you were really going to have the guts to show up," Eames smirked.

Zillah laughed. "I wouldn't miss this for anything. To see the snark up close and personal is too great an opportunity to pass up."

"Doesn't seem like you're much of a stranger to it either. But then what can you expect from someone who's all talk, just like all the other mutts who think the internet makes them invincible. I've seen your kind before, and put them away. You're might think you're a hotshot, but you're used to hiding behind a terminal instead of dealing with the real world."

"Wow. You've really got your routine down pat." Zillah took a big pull from her bottle of Strongbow. "Honestly, if I really were what you think I am, I'd probably be at least a little bit offended." Her tone darkened, "But you know so little of the quote 'real world' unquote it's pathetic. I know I'm not invincible, online or off, but I think you'd have caught on to the kind of person I really am a bit quicker so we could move past this posturing bullshit and get down to the real business at hand. So how about it? After all time is ticking away. More time for him to be in that place, where they're doing who knows what to him. That's the only reason there could be for why he hasn't contacted in you in some fashion right?" She learned back into her seat. "Your turn."

Eames took in the woman sitting across from her. She had cut right through her attempt to unbalance her, or piss her off enough to say too much. She wasn't like an ordinary perp, easily manipulated. She was confident, not cocky, but definitely a bit arrogant. Even so she seemed to know she had limits and where they were. Regular tactics were not going to work on this one. She also got the distinct feeling that her eyes followed her every gesture, every move of her eyes, every twitch of her hands, even though she wasn't sure how she could see anything with her sunglasses on in the dark, smoke filled room. Eames decided that since the normal approach was out, she'd go the direct route. "Fine," she sighed. "How did you find out about this?"

"Is that really important?"

"Well considering that my current theory has you being hired to break him out, then both of you being killed in the attempt to hide everything, I think it is."

"That's a good theory. If I wasn't sure about my employer I'd buy into it for sure. But I know they wouldn't set me up like that. They like me too much." She grinned again. "And if they did want to get rid of me, it wouldn't be like this I can tell you that for sure."

"So you're not going to tell me then."

"No. It's really not going down like your theory, so it's irrelevant."

"So then, how IS it going down?"

"Ahh… now you want the particulars of the plan."

"That is what I thought this meeting was about."

"Indeed," she replied as she took another big pull of ale. "Before we get to that, I need to know. Are you in or out?"

"You really think I'm going to help you? That I'd throw everything away to go on your wild hunt?"

Zillah pinned her with a look Eames could feel, despite her dark glasses. "My dear, if this were a Wyld Hunt… Well… it wouldn't be near so much fun for you." She gave her head a small shake. "To answer your question, yes I think you will. You're already in this far, so will you shrink away at the moment of truth, or will you put your money where your mouth is and take it to the end?" She slid her head forward bringing her face halfway across the table towards Eames. "Will you prove what you've always told him is true, or will he face the darkness as alone as he's always felt himself to be," she asked softly.

The indignant response to Zillah's "fun" remark withered on her lips as she asked her last question. _How could she know something like that?_ Eames thought frantically. She knew her eyes had gone wide and staring, but she couldn't shake it at the moment.

Zillah smoothly went back to her side of the table, taking a few sips of her drink to give the detective a moment to recover and think.

After a minute Eames looked up at her. Looked past the shadowy lenses and into Zillah's eyes and said, "I'm in."

Zillah smiled, her sharp teeth shining in the light from over the booth.


	14. Ante up, Answers Simple and Complex

Bobby opened his eyes with a start. He felt the soft, warm breath tickle his ear as the words were spoken… 'And there, dearheart, is the truth of it all.' She was real! He wasn't crazy, he couldn't be if she was real. But how had no one else seen her? How did all the other things happen that he had seen? But she said it was the truth… What was the truth? He thought hard, trying to collect his last thoughts before they had become scattered again. What was he saying… That he didn't know. Didn't know what? Didn't know what the answers were… didn't know what hadn't been taken from him… No, there was one more piece. He looked around the room and saw her still standing in her usual corner. What was she trying to tell him? That had to be what she was doing, but what… he knew, but he didn't know… Wait. Wait it was close.

Anderson was just beginning to worry about what was taking Eames so long to get back, when the door to the SUV opened suddenly, nearly causing him to spill out into the parking lot. "Geez detective, I could've dropped my laptop!"

"Aww… Now wouldn't that have been a shame? Considering you're going to need it and all."

He looked up at the unfamiliar voice and was stunned to see a tall redhead looking down at him. He suddenly realized who it was, but between the way he was sitting in the car and fumbling with his laptop to keep it from falling, there was no way he could reach his weapon in time.

"I see you're pretty quick on the uptake. Yeah it's me, your little thorn. Grab your gear and get in the back."

"What did you do to Detective Eames?"

"Besides stick her with the check?"

"What?" Zack was now really confused. They were supposed to arrest her, not let her in the car. Why had he done what she asked anyway? She hadn't pulled a gun on him… This was supposed to be quick and simple. What had gone wrong? He broke from his thoughts as she slid into the front seat, turning to him.

"I'll just take that for now if you don't mind," she said, removing his wireless card from its slot on the side of the computer. "Can't have you giving the game away before we're ready to play. Detective Eames didn't want you to be involved just so you know. She'd have much rather dropped you off back at the office and forgotten about you."

"So why _am_ I involved then?"

"Because you didn't call out the black & whites to go get me when I first popped up. Your curiosity has caught you. You wanted to know the truth, and now you do. So now you have to pay for that knowledge or just live with it forever. Do you think you can do that? Ultimately your choice comes down to one question: How far are you willing to go to save a good cop from a bad fate?"

Zach looked like he wasn't sure how to respond at all. He was in so far over his head he didn't even know where the surface was anymore. What the hell was going on? He knew it was true that there was a problem with Detective Goren. That he gone undercover on his own to uncover abuse allegations in Tate's prison. Other than that Eames hadn't been forthcoming with information or details. "How bad a fate?"

"Pretty bad," Eames said as she appeared on the other side of the car. "What exactly have you been telling him?"

"Just the truth," Zillah said. "That he has a choice to make. That you didn't want to drag him in any deeper, but that it was already too late."

"Damn it! Why couldn't you wait till I got back? And sticking me with the damn check too!" Eames chuckled despite herself at Zillah's attempt at an innocent expression. "You are one hell of a piece of work."

"I do try," Zillah said. "Besides, I thought it went without saying that you would treat, since I was the one answering questions."

"You still didn't tell me the plan."

"I haven't told anyone the whole plan yet. Safer that way. My driver is out picking up the extra guys we need right now, we just need to pick up the last of the equipment and head to the staging point."

"Wait a minute! Whoa, whoa, whoa," Anderson exclaimed. "You're doing it today? Like right now?"

"Tonight actually. After everything is settled into the night shift, we'll make our move." Zillah turned to Anderson. "This is a blitz, kid. I spent the day getting everything set. All at once, so the underground grapevine doesn't have anything new to report before we're ready to go. If you plan to stay with the police, take this as a lesson. This is how pros work. So I guess you need to decide what you're going to do. Are you in? If not are you going to rat us out or stay silent? We need to know now."

"We?" Zach looked at Eames. "You're in this too now? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking of my partner, my friend, and a great cop suffering alone," she replied softly. "What are you thinking?"

He opened his mouth to reply, to tell her that she had lost it, but he found he couldn't make the words come out. He was beginning to understand how strongly the bonds of a partnership could go. In his early days on the force he'd had a partner during his beat tour. He liked the guy OK, hung out with him after work a couple times a week, trusted him with his life. That seemed like a shallow friendship in comparison to the devotion and sacrifice he saw in front of him. He almost regretted trying so hard to get into the CRU so fast now, and never getting the chance to have that bond.

"I'm in too," he said quietly.

"I've think I've almost got the answer," Bobby said out loud.

"Oh? I'd like to hear your theory if you want to share," replied the woman.

He thought that her white hair and blue eyes were so startling in contrast to her smooth, dusky skin. He suddenly realized that he could see her, not perfectly, but like through clear, shallow water. Fine details were distorted, but the larger features were all defined now. "You said the truth of it all was there. I took me a while, but I think I recall what you were referring to now."

"What was that then?"

"I don't know what I know."

"Excellent! You are progressing so well." He saw her smile this time. "However that's not the final answer."

"I figured as much." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Is there a final answer?"

"I cannot answer that, unless you want to use your question."

"No. Not yet, but I'll keep that one in mind if I get stuck."

"Very well."

"Personally, though, I don't think there is."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because how can there be a final answer to anything about humans except, maybe, death? People are always changing, growing, and learning. To say there's a final answer is like saying there's a wrong way to be a human, to live life. That just seems illogical to the point of ludicrousness."

"Yet you act as if there IS a final answer to your own life. That if you're not on a certain path, following certain self-created rules, you're doing something terribly wrong with your life. How is that not equally ludicrous?"

"I… I just have to be… I don't know… better…"

"Better than the rest of humanity? Are you trying to become a deity of some sort?"

"No, I just need to be better."

"Better than who then?"

"Than… than… I guess better than what I came from. Better than what I see everyday."

"You create a rigid set of rules that if followed correctly ensures that you do not become what you despise the most, and then become upset when you are not perfect. Even though those rules would be difficult for a monk to follow, much less a brilliant, curious man in search of the truth, who has to live in the world and not a mountaintop."

"It's not as bad as that. I just keep fucking up. I can't do anything right, I keep dragging Eames down with me, and I just keep getting worse. I'm not brilliant, I'm not great, or noble, or anything else."

"Who has ever told you that you are not?"

"I tell myself, so I don't forget, so I don't lead people to try and care about me."

"And if they do anyway? What does that tell you? Do you think they're stupid or foolish?"

"Yes!"

"Then you think your partner is stupid and foolish?"

"No! Alex is a great cop! She's smart and really great at her job. I would never think those things about her."

"But you did."

"You're putting words in my mouth."

"No, I am simply pointing out the paradox in your argument. You know this is true."

"Yes." He sat in thought for minute. "This is it isn't it? This is the crux of so much that's wrong with my life. Tell me."

"You would use…" Her eyes looked sad.

He interrupted her. "Yes I know! Just tell me if I'm right."


	15. Revelation Already Known, Black Sunshine

"You are mostly correct. The traumas you have suffered have battered your self-confidence to pieces. This has also generated a current of self-defeat that you have allowed to drag you along, rather than breaking from its grip. One is always feeding from the other, reinforcing your mistaken beliefs, instilled in childhood, that you have somehow failed at your life. While you do not feel worthless and incapable, you feel that you are a bit... less… than what you should be, despite the way others perceive you. If these things are not faced and defeated, or at least brought under some kind of control, they will be the cause of your final fall into darkness. Your long road of self-destruction that you have been travelling for the past couple of years has its roots, and its end, with those."

"I don't know what I know," he repeated. "I knew this. I've always known this. I just made myself forget about it. That's what you meant isn't it? That I already knew everything I needed, I just had to remember I knew it?"

"You can consider it that way, but I cannot say for sure."

"Rules can't, or not sure yourself can't?"

"Honestly," she sighed, "a bit of both."

Bobby chuckled slightly. "I'm glad to hear you say that. That you're not sure about something I mean. I think if you were a hallucination you'd be sure about everything."

"If I were your hallucination, where you knew that about yourself, would I be?"

"Oh… Maybe not then. I still don't think you are though. Can you tell me your name?"

"No. I am sorry. I do wish that I was permitted to share that with you, but I am not. However if you wish to have something to call me by, you may use Najiah."

"That's Arabic isn't it?"

"Yes, though I am not of the blood of the Desert Tribes."

"Oh. So what's next?"

"That's up to you."

"Am I going to be able to leave here?"

"That is also up to you."

"Ok, so where do we go from here?" Eames' voice broke the silence that had fallen after they had picked up the last of the gear.

"Take a left up here," Zillah said. "Hey kid, how are you holding up back there?"

"Ok I guess. Considering I'm throwing away everything I've worked for, I'm just great!"

"Relax, it's not that bad."

"Giving up your whole life for prison or running forever isn't that bad?"

"Well, if that's what was going to happen, it would be that bad. That's not what's going to happen though. That's part of your job in this mess. I'm good with the tech stuff, but you've spent years working with just computers and their systems. We were both hoping you'd be in, mainly so no one loses their jobs…"

"How do you plan to have us not lose our jobs and go to jail?"

She handed his wireless card back to him. "Jump on and I'll show you."

A few minutes later Zach Anderson, lifelong computer nerd, sat back impressed. He never knew there could be such elegant code, so vicious, yet so focused. "Did you do this yourself?"

"Me? No, I'm good but I'm not that good," she said waving her hand. "I pulled that in as a favor from a friend of mine. Since he couldn't get a look at the systems it was going to be working in, he had to make it a bit generic, but that's where you come in, ain't it?"

"I don't know if there's much I can do with this, at least without messing it up. This is… Well… For lack of a better word, it's art. Why didn't you use something like this on our systems? We may never have known you were there if you had."

"Don't worry about messing it up, it's pretty robust. I just need a codemaster who can properly direct the thing so it hits the targets, not a bunch of extra stuff, while making sure we don't get blindsided by something unexpected. As for your question, as you said, it's art. Art takes time, and my friend likes to stay low profile, so I only call him for the toughest jobs."

"Oh, I see. If he puts a lot of work out, his signatures gets known faster." He looked at the code some more. "I know I can do this."

"I'm sure you can. You're the master of your domain, and your domain is where ever in cyberspace you choose it to be," she purred, almost seductively.

"IF we can get back on track here," Eames said, "what's my part in this? And if you say anything other than that I'm going in with you, you're going to get an argument."

"I wouldn't dream of leaving you outside, even if you would be the best choice to manage the perimeter team. Is this the right direction to the highway?"

"Yeah, see, northeast next right. Should take us about an hour from here I think, depending on exactly where you're setting up."

"Not far from the highway, didn't want a bunch of strange people wandering around up there."

"Good plan," said Eames as she pulled onto the large road and jammed the pedal down.

The SUV raced along the black ribbon of asphalt, the sun waning behind them in the red flares and violet smears of its daily death.

--

AN: Hey hey! Sorry about the delay in getting this thing done. Had some things to work around, not the least of which was that I felt that where I was heading was not true to Bobby's character so I had to rework a couple of things. Basically I felt I was falling into the trap of giving him low self-esteem, which I don't think is true at all. Messed up, yes. Broken confidence, yes. Not low self-esteem. I'm still working, I started school, and have to move by the end of the month, so forgive me if the next chapters also take a bit longer.


	16. Determination, Preperation

"I am ready to go."

"That was a statement," Najiah said. "You are certain then?"

"Yes," Bobby replied. "I think I've learned all I can here. I think I need to go back to the world and face my future."

"Brave words for such an uncertain future."

"Maybe. You don't agree?"

"It is not my place to agree or not. I will say however that you seem to have made progress since your arrival here."

"I think I've figured out why I'm here too."

"I am interested to hear your thoughts. Please share if you like."

"I… I try so hard to help people. To become a better person in my own eyes by giving to others. You said when I first got here that I had forgotten the basics. I think I understand that now. That in trying so hard to help, I had stopped caring. About myself, my life, the people in it, and maybe, to a small extent, even the people I thought I was helping. I thought I was showing that I was someone to be proud of, when all I was doing was giving everything away until I was empty inside."

"I see. That is an interesting thought. Have you considered the deeper implications as well?"

"Yes…" Bobby paused. "I am a product of my knowledge and experience. I know that the roles of parents and the childhood environment play a part in development, but ultimately I am the only one who determines who I am now. Whoever my father was, and despite what my visitors said I'm still not sure who he is, I am not him. They were both people I would never want to be, and so far I'm not. I don't think I ever will be as long as I keep that in mind."

"Have you given any thought to how you will carry this knowledge out of here?"

"I know it. Isn't that enough?"

"You knew it before too," Najiah said, tilting her head to one side. "Was it enough then?"

"True," Bobby replied, "but I didn't know I knew it."

"True enough," Najiah sighed. "But recall that I said your rules were difficult for a monk to follow. How do you think you will fare when you have to leave this place and live in the world again? For all its horrors, this place is predictable and well… not safe… but I think you get the point. You have to face all the people you left behind to come here. You will have to face those who don't understand you. I will not be there, but others will take my place. Will you accept them and their help when you have to look them in the eye? It is a very different circumstance to understand these things than it is to practice them with others."

"You're right, but if I stay here, I'm really just doing what I've been doing for a while now: shuffling in little circles, going nowhere. I have to try. I will face that beast."

"Will you follow it into darkness, as far as you can?"

"I will do whatever I must to recover myself," Bobby said.

"I do not envy your journey."

"Ok everyone! Listen up for final assignments," Zillah said as the crew milled around, sizing each other up. "If you're on perimeter guard, draw your gear from Carlos over by the blue truck. He will also give you your positions and fallbacks. Mobile team will also draw from Carlos, then pick up their briefing from Mike. Wave for me so everyone knows who you are. Extraction group will be drawing and working with Terry by the Explorer. Ok, I just need to see Ivan up front and the rest of you can gear up."

"You got a good group together," Eames said. "For the first time I really believe we can pull this off."

"Ye of little faith. This is what I do."

"I'd really hate to have to go against you. Though I'm not at so much of a disadvantage now."

"You think?" Zillah chuckled.

"That's not ominous… So, who's Ivan?"

"I am Ivan," said the large man as he stepped up to them. Six feet tall, well muscled but not bulky, with a quiet look that spoke volumes about what he was capable of. Eames had a fleeting thought about Bobby before giving her head a shake to focus on the job at hand.

"Alright. This," Zillah said, pointing to Anderson, "is Zach. He is your responsibility for the entirety of this mission. You will stick to his side and makes sure he stays safe. That is priority one. The second is making sure his position is secure and he maintains his connection to the building's network."

"Hey," Zach said looking hurt, "I don't need a babysitter. I AM a c… trained professional."

"Hmm," Ivan rumbled. "If this were so, you would not say things like that. Think of me as your bodyguard if that helps."

Eames spoke up, "You're going to have your full attention on the computer, so which eye is going to be watching for trouble? Especially if things don't go exactly as planned."

"Which they won't!" Zillah exclaimed.

"Exactly. Ivan will be watching your back while you can't. No one works without backup if they want to keep breathing long."

"Ivan," Zillah said, "you're getting live rounds in your sidearm. I picked you for this part of the job because I know you can keep your head on straight, even if everything else is gone to hell. I'm sure I can trust you to know if you really need to use that instead of your other weapons."

"Yes ma'am. My charge is my duty and my duty is my life."

"Good man. Make sure they're all set and mount up. Day is gone and their hopeful light with it. It's time to show them what really lives in the dark."

Eames shuddered slightly at the coldness of her tone, but passed it off as a brush of cool night air. "You certainly have a flair for the dramatic."

"Oh? I didn't think I was being dramatic at all. Simply telling the truth. Just because you don't see it Alex, doesn't mean it's not there."

"So what 'really lives in the dark'?"

"I don't think you are ready to know that. At least not fully. You wouldn't accept it even if I told you. It's one of those things that you kind of have to see for yourself to believe. But I think you are starting to become suspicious of the nature of things, unsure of what you're seeing. I have a feeling you'll get there sooner rather than later."

"Yeah," Eames replied, "I'll be seeing ghosts and fairies ANY time now."

"Along with a few other things."

Zillah grinned as Eames shot her one of her trademark dirty looks.

"You could have just said you were trying to get in the mood to scare them," Eames scoffed.

"I didn't want to lie to you. That makes for bad teamwork," Zillah said softly. "Get your gear together. It's time to go."


End file.
